A Series of Pointless Events in Harry Potter
by Gryffindor620
Summary: Do you like mindless and stupid humor? I know I do!Hopefully there's nothing wrong with the story and I haven't struck a cord with Fanfiction. This is just a series of pointless events in the day and the life in Harry Potter. Anything can happen.No flames
1. Pointless Event 1

Yes, it's a new story (Kinda) before I've even finished my other ones! But this idea came to me one night of late night talk with my friend. For those of you wonder about Harry Potter goes Gangster, **DON'T WORRY I WILL CONTINUE WRITING IT!**

I have way to much fun with it. This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**D-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-O**

In Dumbledore's Office

(Dumbledore looks into his mirror and poses different ways)

"This is the new look.", Dumbledore said taking another postions.

(Puts on sunglasses)

"Ha, ha. Yeah. Pimp." After that Dumbledore proceeded to pop his collar and walk to the Great Hall with a gangsta limp.

If you don't like it, don't waste my time flaming. This is just pointless stupidity.

**D-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-OD-O**

There will be a lot of chapters. So be prepared for idiocy.

Gryffindor620


	2. Pointless Event 2

This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

And the Song, I'm A Pretty Little Girl is mine and my sister's, so copyright is me!

**GRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRC**

In the Gryffindor Common Room

"Harry! I think I've found a spell to defeat Voldemort!", Hermione shouted excitedly to Harry.

"That's great Hermione! Let's go tell Ron," Harry said going up the stairs.

In the distance near the boys dormitory

"Ooooooh girls just wanna have fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!", Ron shouted.

Harry gave Hermione the, 'What the fuck!' look.

"Thank you! Thank you! And now for my next performance, I'm A Pretty Little Girl!"

Harry and Hermione ran up to the door and pushed the door open slightly.

What they saw would stay in their minds forever.

It was Ron in a sparkly red dress with a purple boa and pink pumps with the fuzz on the

front. Not to mention maybelline lipstick, Hermione could tell because it looked clumped up. (Read Harry Potter goes Gangster)

"I'mmmmmmmmmmmmmm a pretty little girl! I'm a pretty little girl! I'm so pretty, pretty, pretty! I'm a pretty little girl! I'm a pret-", Ron's song was cut off short by Hermione, who yelled, "Ron what are you doing!"

"Harry! Hermione! I can explain! I-I-I- Oh bloody hell."

**GRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRCGRC**

Again another pointless chapter! Don't waste my time with flames, hell you shouldn't even flame cause you shouldn't even be reading this story if you didn't like the first chapter anyway!

Gryffindor620


	3. Pointless Event 3

This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**HLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHL**

In the Hogwarts Library

(Harry runs in)

"Hermione!", Harry said with urgency in his voice.

"What happened Harry!", Hermione said worridly.

(Harry runs back out)

**HLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHLHL**

Another one! If you read this far, then you read the bottoms of chapter 1 and 2.

Gryffindor620


	4. Pointless Event 4

This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

This chapter is mass produced by GypsyBQ A.K.A My sister

**PBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPB**

In the Prefect's bathroom

(Harry and Ron burst in shocked at what they see)

"Hermione what have you done to yourself!", exclaimed Harry.

(Hermione turned around and through back her new dredlocks)

With a Jamaican accent replied, "This be da new look."

**PBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPB**

Short. Pointless. Assuming you all can count just fine. You've seen the bottom. No need to tell it twice!

Gryffindor620


	5. Pointless Event 5

This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**QPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQP**

On the Quidditch Pitch

(Harry's flying about minding his business)

"Potter!", Draco spat venomously from the ground.

(Flying down)

"Malfoy", Harry said back coldly.

Malfoy just stared.

"Weirdo.", Harry said while leaving.

As Harry was leaving, Malfoy was bearing his teeth and pointing at Harry threateningly.

**QPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQPQP**

I'm bored. I have no life. Short and pointless!

Gryffindor620


	6. Pointless Event 6

This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM**

Malfoy Manor

(Lucius is looking in the mirror)

"Gotta brush the shoulders off ", Lucius said lightly.

(Picking up his cane)

"Ha. Ha. Yeah. Mackin' "

**MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM**

Said it before, pointless and sleep high.

Gryffindor620


	7. Pointless Event 7

This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**HCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCC**

1975-Hogwarts Charms corridor

"Well, well. Out for another late night in the moonlight Lupin? ", Snape said maliciously to Remus Lupin.

"You'd do well to stay shut Snivellius!", Sirius said back the same way.

"Why you son of a bitch!", Snape said angrily.

(Sirius stopped all motion for his wand)

"Why thank you I know, right!", Sirius said forgetting what they were arguing about.

**HCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCCHCC**

(Booty dances)

Gryffindor620


	8. Pointless Event 8

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is **PRE-HBP**

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**HADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHAD**

Hogwarts- 995 A.D

Hogwarts was quiet until...

"RUN AWAY!", yelled Salazar Slytherin the running away.

Godric Gryffindor who was running after him, yelled, "Salazar you buffoon! Why in Merlin's name did you have to tickle that sleeping dragon! "

Salazar Slytherin stopped and said, "Inspiration. There we got a school motto now! Never tickle a sleeping dra-Oof", Salazar never finished his sentence before Godric tackled him.

**HADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHADHAD**

If any one has any ideas of what should go in a pointless episode of mine, go for it!

Gryffindor620


	9. Pointless Event 9

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is **PRE-HBP**

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**DRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRST**

Dursley Residence- Summer time

The table was strewn with multiple pie boxes.

"Do you want more pie Duddykins ", Aunt Petunia asked lovingly to Dudley.

"No...(Breathe)...more...(Breathe)...piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee", with that Dudley promptly passed out.

**DRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRSTDRST**

Series of events silly events. I don't know how long this will go on. But it's gonna have a lot of chapters that I can keep up with.

Gryffindor620


	10. Pointless Event 10

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is **PRE-HBP**

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**RORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORROR**

Room of Requirment

(Random kids walk by giving the 'What the fuck' look to eachother when they look around for the source of music)

Techno music could be heard from outside the Room of Requirement.

What's inside is what's really counts.

"OH! OH! OH! OH! GO MIONE! GO MIONE! GO! GO MIONE! GO MIONE!GO! ", the crowd shouted as Hermione Granger or so fondly called HGrizzle (Read Harry Potter Goes Gangtser) did the robot and turned her self off and got oil on her joints and went at it again.

**RORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORRORROR  
**I got issues, yes I know. For the men in the white suits tell me so!

Gryffindor620


	11. Pointless Event 11

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is PRE-HBP

I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!

THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!

MDRMDRMDRMDRMDRMDRMDRMDRMDRMDRMDRMDR

Marge Dursley Residence

(The liquor cabinet shakes )

"On the good ship, lolly pop. It's a sweet trip to the candy shop", Marge Dursley sang while holding the entire bottle of brandy trying to avoid stepping on her dogs thus causing the house to shake.

"Where the bon-bons play. On the sunny street of Peppermint Bay", Marge finished and passed out, causing the whole street to shake.

"SHIT! EARTHQUAKE!", yelled a random person.

MDRMDRMDRMDRMDRMDRMDRMDRMDRMDRMDRMDR

BOOM SHAKALAKA BOOM BOOM!


	12. Pointless Event 12

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is PRE-HBP

I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!

THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!

BDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDB

Boys Dormitory Bathroom

(Ron picks up his toothbrush and toothpaste)

"Whoa", whisphered Ron as he slowly put the toothpaste on the toothbrush.

(Puts the toothpaste onto his finger and smeared it across different areas of his face)

Then as loud as Ron could yelled, he screamed, "MORTAL KOMBAT!"

BDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDB

I am so sleepy. You can read very well on chapters 1 and 2.

Gryffindor620


	13. Pointless Event 13

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is PRE-HBP

I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!

THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!

This pointless chapter was written by my bestest friend, ThatGirlInBlack. So all the silly credits go to her for this chapter.

BRRWBRRWBRRWBRRWBRRWBRRWBRRWBRRWBRRWBRRW

The Burrow

(Hermione wakes up and walks down to the living room of the burrow)

"Hi Ron, hi Harry how long have I been asleep?"

(Harry remains silent and stares horrified at Hermione)

Ron hides behind the couch points at Hermione's hair his lip quivering, and yells "IT'S A TWISTER! IT'S A TWISTER!"

BRRWBRRWBRRWBRRWBRRWBRRWBRRWBRRWBRRWBRRW

When I think about it, there is no plot. Just pure stupidity.

Gryffindor620


	14. Pointless Event 14

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is PRE-HBP

I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!

THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!

This chapter is dedicated to BRITTENY SPEARS! (You'll see)

GPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDC

Grunnings Power Drill Company

(Vernon sits bored at his bosses desk)

"Oops I did it again! I broke an office chair. It's killing me now. Don't they know I still believe I won't break another one. I must confess, that that chair had a look of loneliness.", Vernon muttered under his breath.

(Vernon looks at the pencil sharpener)

"Hmmm"

(Takes out a few pencils and a pen from the desk)

"Whrr!"- Pencil 1

"Whrr!"- Pencil 2

"Whrr!"- Pencil 3

"Whrr!"- Pencil 4

"Whr-what the fuck!"- Pen

GPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDCGPDC

I lost the noggin!

Gryffindor620


	15. Pointless Event 15

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is PRE-HBP

I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!

THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!

FernGully was my inspiration for this chapter.

SRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSR

Professor Snape's Room

(Snape rinses his hair out with oil)

"SLIME BENEATH ME! SLIME UP ABOVE! OOH YOU'LL LOVE MY- AH, AH, AH- TOXIC LOVE!"

(Hagrid walks down that corridor)

Hagrid looks at the door with the 'What the fuck!' look.

(Shrugs and keeps going)

SRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSR

I'm sleepy. Get over it

Gryffindor620


	16. Pointless Event 16

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is PRE-HBP

I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!

THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show isn't just for muggles, part 1

HCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCR

Herbology Classroom

(Draco Malfoy is plucking a leaf)

Humming, "Don't get strung out. By the way I look!"

What Draco didn't realize was that he was singing this extremely loud and got up on the table and started dancing on the table.

"I'm just a sweet transvestite. From! transsexual, transylvanniaaaaaaaaaaaa- ha ha!"

Harry, Ron and Hermione gave eachother the 'What the fuck!' look.

HCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCRHCR

I love Tim Curry!

Gryffindor620


	17. Pointless Event 17

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is PRE-HBP

I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!

THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show isn't just for muggles, part 2

This POINTLESS EVENT was made up by my bestest friend, ThatGirlInBlack!

So all of the silly cookies go to her!

BDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDB

Boy Dormitory Bathroom

(Harry's dancing in front of the mirror with a leotard and blonde wig on )

"Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta touch me! I want to feel dirty! Feel me, thrill me, forfill me! Creature of the night!"

(In a random room where there's a tv in Hogwarts...even though it'd be pointless since nothing from the muggle world can work in Hogwarts, in Snapes room)

"Creature of the night", Snape said repeating after Harry.

(Outside Hagrid was passing by again)

Hagrid looked at the door with the 'What the fuck!' face again, shrugged and left.

BDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDBBDB

(Does the chicken dance)

Gryffindor620


	18. Pointless Event 18

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is PRE-HBP

I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!

THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!

I was just thinking about Not Another Teen Movie. Yeah.

GQTLRGQTLRGQTLRGQTLRGQTLRGQTLRGQTLRGQTLRGQTLR

Gryffindor Quidditch Team Locker Room

(Harry was talking to Ron about Hermione)

"Hermione is two words my friend: Head Girl...material", Harry stated with finality in his voice.

GQTLRGQTLRGQTLRGQTLRGQTLRGQTLRGQTLRGQTLRGQTLR

Don't stop and listen can you feel the beat, that Gryffindor620 don't want flames.

Or can't you see!

Gryffindor620


	19. Pointless Event 19

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is PRE-HBP

I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!

THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Great Hall

(Ginny was staring at her chicken...amazed)

"Woh. I know kung fu."

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Oooh, la, la, sa soon!

Gryffindor620


	20. Pointless Event 20

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is PRE-HBP

I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!

THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!

TCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCR

Transfiguration Classroom

(Hermione ran into the classroom)

"Professor McGonnagal!", Hermione said urgently.

"Yes Ms.Granger", the professor replied back worried.

(Hermione smiled)

TCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCRTCR

I have no life! If someone sees a life for sale, let me know!

Gryffindor620


	21. Pointless Event 21

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is **PRE-HBP**

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH**

(Great Hall)

(Harry's getting ready rap)

"Ight, this goes out to my home girl, Hermione A.K.A. HGrizzle,"Harry said pulling his crotch up.

Then Harry began rapping,"Check, check. Hermione's a hoe. But she's not slow."

(Hermione bops her head)

"She use protection and direction to avoid all infections. She fucks anything that walks, but not everything that talks. By the end of the night, you gon' have and limp. Cause she's HGrizzle, the grandmaster pimp!"

(Harry points to Hermione)

(Hermione points back smiling)

**GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH**

Look at the seductiveperiwinkle bar and button that says review; Like it. Love it. Do It.


	22. Pointless Event 22

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is **PRE-HBP**

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**HGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGD**

(Head Girl's Dorm)

(Outside of dorm, Ron and Ginny are sitting on the couch)

"Oh Harry! Push harder!" Hermione yelled.

"Ahh, Hermione! Use your wand instead, it's better," Harry replied back with just as much force.

(Banging on the wall)

"Harry, not there. Right- there. That's the spot," Hermione replied happily.

(Oustide)

(Ron and Ginny give eachother the "What the fuck!" look)

"Harry! Come- OH! Harry I can't do this by myself,"Hermione yelled again.

"I'm coming! AHH! There!" Harry said exausted.

"Finally! Let's get out of here," Hermione said opening the door.

(Ron and Ginny are looking at the door horrified)

(Harry and Hermione look tired)

"Christ Hermione, that was the heaviest dresser I've ever moved!" Harry said with some pain in his voice.

(Ron and Ginny pass out)

"Hmm, wonder whatthey were on about? Oh well!"

**HGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGDHGD**

**I just got the feeling!**


	23. Pointless Event 23

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is **PRE-HBP**

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**TSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSS**

(The Shrieking Shack)

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! " the group of Gryffindors and Slytherin's were chanting loudly.

"Now Hermione," Ron yelled loudly in the crowd.

" FLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY GIRLS FLY GIRLS FLY GIRLS! FLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY GIRLS FLY GIRLS FLY GIRLS

Her name is Hermione and she's a fly girl, she's the illest pimp of the whole world. She's fly like a butterfly and stings like a bee. That's why we call her Mione! Go Mione!Go Mione! GO! GO!

Go Mione!"

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!"

"Now Ginny," Harry yelled just as loud as Ron.

"FLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY GIRLS FLY GIRLS FLY GIRLS! FLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY GIRLS FLY GIRLS FLY GIRLS

Her name is Ginerva and she's a fly girl, she's the illest bitch of the whole world. She's high like a butterfly and smokes up a tree. That's why we call her Ginny! Go Ginny!Go Ginny! GO! GO!

Go Ginny!"

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!"

"Now Pansy!" Some loser in the back yelled. Which in fact was Pansy trying to diguse her voice and making it into a man's. Which wasn't very hard for her when in all actuallity that's her normal speaking voice.

(Crickets)

"Ok! We'll do one for Pansy!" Hermione answered slyly.

"Remembered what we practiced!" Hermione whispered to the crowd behind her.

" UGGGGGGGGGGGGGLLLLLLLLLLLY GIRLS UGLY GIRLS UGLY GIRLS!

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGLLLLLLLLLLLY GIRLS UGLY GIRLS UGLY GIRLS!

Her name is Pansy and she's an ugly girl. She has no cuties in her world. She's as ugly a dog and has as many fleas. That's why we call her- UGLY! NO UGLY!NO UGLY! NO! NO! NO UGLY!"

(Pansy runs out crying like a steriod induced 12 year old girl)

**TSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSSTSS**

**It was a school trip flash back!**


	24. Pointless Event 24

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is **PRE-HBP**

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

This is making fun of **ALL** the authors who have mixed their information throughly and spelled things so incorrectly that a dyslexic person would die of illiteracy.

**PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!**

(Phone Tap on every known and cared about character in Hogwarts)

Proffessor Dumbledor called Professor McGonagle who called Profesor Sevurus Snape

who called Lucious Malfoi who called Draco Malfoi who called the Slithering Quiditch

team who prank called Hagrrid to call Luna Lovegod who called Ginney Weaslee who called

Nevile Longbotum to call Hermyone Graner who called Ron Weasly to call Gred and Forge

Wesley who called Molly and Author Weasly who called the Griffindor Quiditch team to

call Harrey Potter whose eyes happen to be brown to call all the lazy ass authors to get off their

lazy ass and look in the freaking book or go online and learn how to spell correctly!

**PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!PT!**

Finally I express my anger!


	25. Pointless Event 25

This will just be a series of pointless events. Short. Short stories if you will.

This is **PRE-HBP**

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD**

(Head Girl's Dorm)

(Hermione's looking in the mirror and has pimp glasses on)

"Heh. Yeah...yeaaaaah man." Hermione said and left her room on her pimp cane.

**HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD HGD**

I don't know why. I'm the greatest dancer.


	26. Pointless Event 26

This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

This was thought up by my bestestest friend: **ThatGirlInBlack**

**OOSCOOSCOOSCOOSCOOSCOOSCOOSCOOSCOOSCOOSC**

**Outside of Snape's Classroom**

(Hermione walks out with her books)

"I need lacewing flies to complete the po-" Hermione stopped mid-sentence when Draco bumps into her.

"Watch where you're going Mudblood!"

'You watch it, fucking idiot!' Hermione thought

"Hey, I'm not an idiot!" Draco cried angrily

"How did you hear my thoughts!" Hermione asked almost amazed

"Because you kinda screamed it at me."

**OOSCOOSCOOSCOOSCOOSCOOSCOOSCOOSCOOSCOOSC**

Yeah yeah yeah!


	27. Pointless Event 27

It's been a long time. I know. But I got the inspiration and I'm gonna use it right now. So keep looking out for me 'cause I will be updating soon. My computer crashed and some of the things I had started are now gone.

This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**TLCTLCTLCTLCTLCTLCTLCTLCTLCTLCTLCTLC**

**The Leaky Cauldron**

(There's a rap battle going on within; Cornelius Fudge against Severus Snape)

"Don't make me punch you in the face. Make you feel like you apart of a mixed race. I got that cultural diffusion, my fist to your face is an illusion. I'll take that lime green hat and gobble it up like Ozzy Osbourne with a bat. So take that!" With that, Severus Snape finished his rhyme on Cornelius Fudge.

"Oooooohhhhh!"

"Alright alright, so Snape did his thing. Now we gonna give the mic over to my boss, Cornelius Fudge. DCrock spins that!" With that Tom the landlord of The Leaky Cauldron told his DJ, DCrock (Doris Crockford)to begin the instrumental music.

"Check. Check. Check. Check. Right now I'ma shut this dude down. 'Cause everywhere he walks, smiles turn to frowns. Oh! Did I hurt that ego? Sorry man, but you look like Golem and Smeagol from 'The Lord of the Rings'. Let me make that announcement, tap on the glass: "Ding Ding" He don't like me! Go 'head fight me. But I know I'm hitting your girl bi-nightly. So take your big ass nose and go home 'cause this is how we rap: When In Rome! This is my verbal attack, so I'ma take my lime green hat and fall back!" And with that Cornelius Fudge stepped back and tossed the mic back at Snape who was fuming with rage.

"GET 'EM! GET 'EM!" and "Oooooooh's" was all that was heard after that last line. "

**TLCTLCTLCTLCTLCTLCTLCTLCTLCTLCTLCTLC**

Oh yeah. I'm back. Keep a look out! (Booty dances)


	28. Pointless Event 28

This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

GBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGB

Gringotts Bank

"Mr.Potter this is the letter that was stated to be given to you upon the death of a Sirius Black," said Griphook as he handed Harry a plain beige envelope with his name on it.

"I'll go and bring you a list of your new assets," and with that Griphook left Harry inside of the back room.

Slowly, Harry broke the wax seal and pulled the letter out. It read:

_Dear Harry,_

If your reading this, I'm already dead...well I guess you wouldn't have read this if I were alive so...RIGHT! Back to my point, dead. Anyway I want you to know that whatever happend to me, I was with you. Wait, no that sounds accusatory. I mean, I want you to know that what happend, happend because I wanted to do it for you. Yeah that sounds better. Knowing me I probably died fighting with pride and took down at least ten deatheaters in the process and didn't die by getting caught with a stunner and falling into some black hole of death! Ha, ha, ha. Like **that **would **ever** happen. I don't want you to feel guilty about it or dwell too much on it. Take it in stride! Wait, no, no for get that last sentence. Uh...what else? What else? Oh! Right! The money. Go crazy with it, give it to charity, buy things, pay for hookers, you know all that good stuff. Spoil your self, you deserve it. Well, here's were I'm ending this. Just remember Harry, keep your friends close and I love you (Not on any gay stuff though). Thinking about love, Harry you should check out Hermione. I know she's your best friend and I heard something about you and Ginny Weasley going out, but let's just say that Hermione hides some goods underneath all those robes! Not to mention the fact that she has a few **interesting **piercings not to mention the one tatoo on her lower stomach with and arrow pointing downwards that says "Insert Here_" on it. I have it written somewhere in my journal, so you'll have the full desciption **AND **I put it inside my pensive as back up. That reminds me of this one time I found James' pensive and I saw a memory about Lily and your dad in his stag form and they were going at it. You would think that **that** is a bit disgusting, but you just can't seem to tear yourself away from it. I have your dad's pensive in my vault as well if you ever want to check it out. _

_Sirius_

_P.S.: If you do read this while I'm still alive, I don't know why you would or how you could but in the event of that case. Have you seen the missing blackish- sliverish button to my grey slacks? I mean it's a realy pain in the ass to just find that ONE button but it just fitted so well with those pants and _reparo_ and _accio _just makes things worse. Keep a look out for it! It could be any where. _

With that Harry finished the letter and watched as Griphook returned with a rolled up parchment. Harry placed the letter in his front left pocket and felt a small round object. He pulled it out and saw that it was a pretty blackish-silverish button.

"This looks familiar...Oh well, doesn't belong to anything I know!" with that Harry chucked the button out the window to where the dragons were kept.

**GBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGB**

I know, I'm silly. It's a given when you live where I live and yes I do have friends. They're just invisible so you can't see them.

Gryffindor620


	29. Pointless Event 29

Oh yeah. I'm good. Two chapters in less than 1 week.

This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH**

**Great Hall**

(After the 7th year class graduated)

"Hermione, I need to tell you something," Ron said almost nervously to Hermione giving Harry his cue to dissapear within the crowd.

"Yes Ron, what is it?" Hermione asked.

"Well, I've been wanting to tell you this for the past couple of years now. I've never know a girl who made me feel like a new man each time I see her. I've never met someone who made me angry and happy at the same time. You are the only person I know that can make me feel like I really am someone without needing fame of money. You are just so amazing. I've never told you that before and I regret each day that I never did. Hermione, you are everything and more to me. I don't know how I will be able to live another day without you. So what I'm trying to say Hermione is that, I love you."

As the last words rolled off of Ron's tongue, he felt as though the weight on his shoulders hadbeen lifted. Finally, he no longer had to be Atlas, holding the world with all his strength. Now all that Ron waited for was Hermione's declaration of love that he knew would come.

Hermione, with a slight smile on her face replied, "Thank you." and walked away without a second thought.

Harry returned and clapped Ron on the back, looking at Hermione and said, "So when's the wedding?"

**GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-**

I'm super mean wit it. So I lean wit it. Take my time wit it. Spit this rhyme wit it.

Remember, I don't review if you don't like. I don't give a damn if you don't like it.

But if you do, you know the drill.

(Does the Toe-Whop)


	30. Pointless Event 30

This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH! **

**MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM**

**Malfoy Manor**

(Voldemort's birthday party)

"...Happy Birthday Dark Lord. Happy Birthday to you!" sang the crowd of Death Eaters as they watch Voldemort blow his candles out.

"Are you 50? Are you 60? Are you 70? Are you 8-" Started singing one random Death Eater whom was promptly killed by the Dark Lord for singing such a ridiculous add on.

Silence fell throughout the room.

"No one shall be singing **that** at **this** party. Now, since this is _my_ party..." Voldemort hissed.

Suddenly with an adopted Carribean accent. The Dark Lord shouted, "TIME TO LIMBO!"

**MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM **

Ole, Ole! Ole-Ole! Ole, Ole! Ole-Ole! Ole, Ole! Ole-Ole!


	31. Pointless Event 31

This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!  
**

**Yeah yeah yeah, I know I was supposed to update. But what can I say! Shit happens!**

**GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP**

**Grimmauld Place**

(Harry bursts into the living room of Grimmauld Place, running into Remus)

"I'm sick of all of these lies and half-truths! Why can't they just tell me the truth that I want and need to hear?!"Harry said in a huff while he entered the room.

"Harry, what's wrong," Remus asked oblivious to everything that Harry just said.

Harry replied not paying any mind to Remus' previous state of mind, "I asked the Order if they could tell me anything about my mum and why our eyes are so unique."

Remus began telling the story of Lily, "Harry, your mum was a wild woman. Trust me, you. I should know! She'd try _ANYTHING_ at least 3 times before she moved on to something new. And one day a spell gone awry, it having to do with being able to pleasure yourself with your eyes, fixed Lily's eyes."

Harry looked thoughtfully and then replied, "But Remus I thought my mum always had green eyes like mine."

Remus replied off-handedly, "Well Harry your Mum's eyes weren't always like that. Infact they were two horrid shades of brown. One of her cornea's where off center, while the other eye was cock-eyed and crooked. Why do you think she tried everything three times? Not only to get three different perspectives on the acts, but so people would like her- well love her long time."

As though realization came to Harry from the heavens above. Harry's eyes snapped to Remus' and he quickly responded, "That explains everything! Even the acceptance of a slightly degraded form of child abuse for 11 years of my life."

And with that last statement, Harry left the room with a new outlook on life.

**GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP**

I write. No lie. And you all know it. WRITING!

Remember, I don't review if you don't like. I don't give a damn if you don't like it.

But if you do, you know the drill.


	32. Pointless Event 32

This will just be a series of pointless events.  
This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!  
THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP**

**Grimmauld Place**

**(Sirius discovers Hermione's CD player and the CD within it)**

"Harry, have you seen my CD player?" Hermione asked while pushing Ginny off of the bed.

"Actually I think that I saw Sirius with it. He said that you loaned it to him." Harry replied.

"Well, I'll have to get it back now." Hermione said exasperatedly

Hermione was approaching the door, she heard...rapping? Hermione went closer and pushed the door open so it was slightly ajar, when she saw and heard it.

Sirius was dressed in a 5X black shirt with TuPac on it, baggy jeans with his boxers showing, a folded scarf around his head, corn-rows, and black boots.  
It seemed as though Sirus had taken a serious liking to the music, so much that he sang along with it.

"When the pimp's in the crib ma: Drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot.

When the pigs try to get at ya: Park it like it's hot. Park it like it's hot. Park it like it's hot.

And if a Wizard gets a attitude: Pop it like it's hot. Pop it like it's hot. Pop it like it's hot... "

Hermione couldn't believe what she had just witnessed and ran upstairs to get more witnesses.

Not more than 2 minutes later, Hermione convinced Harry, Ginny, and Ron who was taking a crap at the time to come downstairs and witness the unforseen event.

Hermione wasn't wrong to think that Sirius would still be down there listening to her unorthodox choice of music. But what shocked them most, including Hermione, is when they saw that Sirius wasn't alone in his musical splendor.

Severus Snape was in his form of gansta gear as well sans TuPac on his shirt, for he was more of a Biggie fan.

Even more shocking was that Snape was rapping to a song that they never thought would come out of Snape's mouth.

"Five boroughs of death, you don't understand. I got New York City in the palm of my hand. Now I could make a tight fist and let it crumble ridiculous. Or I could smack the world with a New York Nemesis."

"TURN IT UP!!" Sirius shouted in between the verse

"I FLIP THE MAG AND GET THE CLAPPIN IF IT HAPPENS RIP HIS JACKET SPLIT HIS BACK AND LIFT HIS HEAD I'M GETTIN AT HIM _(Ha)  
_PICK UP A DIFFERENT MAG AND THEN ATTACK HIM WHEN I GRAB HIM TRIGGERS BLASTIN WITH A PASSION GET IT CRACKIN THE ASSASSIN, YOU LET 'EM!" Snape finished this line with a sauntered turn and allow Sirius to finish the next verse.  
Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny would never forget that moment for their entire lives.

**GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP-GP**

Drop It Like It's Hot- Snoop Dogg

Touch It (Remix)- Busta Rhymes feat. Papoose, DMX, Lloyd Banks, Mary J. Blige, Missy Elliot, and Rah Digga

REPPIN' BRONX!! BX!! BX!! BX!!! BX!!! BX!!!!BX!!!!!

Remember, I don't review if you don't like. I don't give a damn if you don't like it. But if you do, you know the drill.


	33. Pointless Event 33

This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH**

**Hidden Greenhouse**

Neville comes across a greenhouse that was never ventured into by any class

"What's this?" Neville said to himself walking into the secluded greenhouse.

Neville then came across an entire section devoted to different five-leaved green plants. Thinking that it could possibly be a hidden entrance to someplace new on the grounds, Neville raced off to get Harry, Ron, and Hermione to check it out with him

After finding the Golden Trio, he found Luna and Ginny attached with them. Thinking that there were strength in numbers. Neville simply went along with it.

Bringing the group to the secluded greenhouse, Neville explained his findings.

"Well, I was bored of fiddling with my- uh...beanstalks, when I decided to take a walk. Then I came across this hidden greenhouse and decided to check it out." Neville paused his story when he saw the incredulous looks he was recieving sans Luna, whom was busy humping a nargle.

"I'm not a complete bitch! It's plants, I know about them..."

"ANYWAY, as I walked deeper into the greenhouse. I smelled something...different. It was a powerful smell and it's aroma was enticing. So when I went to see what it was, it was a different plant than what I've ever seen. It was all over the back of the greenhouse. It was a vibrant green with five leaves coming out of it and-" Neville stopped abruptly when he saw Harry and Hermione share a look and begin laughing.

"What?!" Neville stated frustratedly

"Nothing, Neville. It's just that there's a plant similar to that in the muggle world and your description sort of fits it. Keep going." Hermione said to Neville in a caring voice that held a spark of humor in it.

"Well that was the end of my story actually..."Neville said, excitement slightly deflated.

The group followed Neville to the back of the greenhouse. The day was progressively getting darker, so the visiblity was becoming limited.

It wasn't until they saw the plant that Harry and Hermione _knew _what it was.

"Neville that's-"Harry never got to finish his sentence when they heard a sound from behind them.

Seeing nothing, Harry moved beside Neville to tell him what the plant was. When suddenly, Ron tripped over a stray plant root.

Not realizing that it was just Ron's clumsy self, Neville whipped his wand out and accidentally silent-cast the 'incendio' charm.

Within seconds the room was set to a burning inferno.

Luckily the group made it out unscathed from the greenhouse, albeit more mellow than when they came in.

"Are we-(cough) are we-(giggle) alive??" Ron asked with a slightly dazed look on his face.

"No man, no. We are- angels...," Hermione said to Ron in a dramatized voice while staring into the sky holding her arms out as though she was ready to be lifted into the heavens.

Harry looked around frantically and in a violent rage screamed,"WHERE ARE MY GLASSES?! GINNY WHY DID YOU TAKE THEM!!!" After completing this exclaimation, began beating Ginny until she relinquished his glasses.

Ginny rolled over and in a crouched position began speaking in a distorted voice, "Give me back my precious(giggle)."

Neville was a mix between the four.

"(Giggle)We're dead now?! WHERE'S MY HERBOLOGY CLASS?? (Cough) I'm so ready to fly." Neville then proceeded to do cartwheels in cirlces while attempting to kick anyone in his path.

Slowly, but surely, the group noticed that Luna was the only one who seemed to be completely...

...focused?

"Hey. Hey, Luuuuuuuuna. You alright there.(Snicker)" Ron said quietly while trying to sneak up on Luna.

"I am completely fine. I don't understand why you all are acting this way. I have half a mind to report this behavior of frivolity. This is unacceptable. I shall be speaking to the Headmaster about this abhorring behavior that is unbecoming of future wizards in our soci- Hermione!! Put your clothes back on!! I cannot believe that you of all people are allowing yourself to fall into such a dispicable act! I have to go and reevalute my priorities in life!"

And with that, Luna turned and stridded off towards the castle.

Promptly there which everyone laughed and continued on to their own devices.

(That midnight)

"I have so much stress that I'm ready to smoke all away through my ears," complained Professor McGonagall as she walked along side with Professors Snape, Sprout, and Dumbledore.

"Myself as well, to think, I've been Headmast here for the better half of everyone's life." Dumbledore stated in a tired tone.

Professor Sprout stopped abruptly and smelled the air, "You all don't smell that. It smells like...someone's found our contraband!!"

With that statement the professors ran to the greenhouse, wands at the ready to act as though they were going to catch the culprits in the act. Only to find that their entire _stress relief _technique had been burned to the ground.

Had they been paying attention, they'd of noticed the naked forms of two attempting to float, the angry form of another punching a baby unicorn, the partially clothed and crouched figure of one, one attempting to fly angrily into the sky to look at his precious from above, and one trying diligently to find the proper authority figure to report the blasphamis events that occured.

**GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH-GH**

Remember, I don't review if you don't like. I don't give a damn if you don't like it.

But if you do, you know the drill.


	34. Pointless Event 34

This will just be a series of pointless events.  
This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!  
THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC**

**Potions Class**

(After a particularly harrowing day of exploding potions and shampoos gone awry, Snape is on edge

"WHY ARE YOU BREATHING SO LOUD??!!" shouted Snape at a random Ravenclaw student who happend to be sick that day.

"POTTER!! WHY IS YOUR HAIR MESSY?! HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF GEL!" Snape shouted again at Harry this time.

"Haven't you heard of a shower?" Harry quietly retorted.

"WHAT WAS THAT?? SIXTEEN THOUSAND POINTS OFF!! THAT'S IT!! NO ONE MOVES OR TALKS OR BREATHES HEAVIER THAN ONE-EIGHTTEENTH OF A DECIBLE!!" Snape pointedly looking at the sick Ravenclaw student.

Out of the corner of Snapes eye, he noticed Ron moving,"WEASLEY!!! WHY ARE YOU MOVING??!!"

"Sir, I was switching papers. I ran out of-" Ron was cut off abruptly.

"DIDN'T I SAY NO TALKING?!!" Snape exclaimed looking at Ron, "ANSWER ME!!"

"But Professor, you-"

"I SAID NO TALKING!!!"

With those last words Snape turned around and sat at his desk silently fuming.

"...(Labored breath)"

"STOP BREATHING!!!"

**PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC-PC**

I'm hot 'cause I write! You write 'cause you not! This is why- This is why I'm hot!

Remember, I don't review if you don't like. I don't give a damn if you don't like it. But if you do, you know the drill.


	35. Pointless Event 35

This will just be a series of pointless events.

This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!**

**THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL**

**Voldemort's Lair**

(After Bellatrix gets out of Azkaban and get new clothes)

Voldemort looked at Bellatrix's new clothes and freshly washed hair.

"Bella...it has been much too long my faithful follower..." Voldemort hissed almost appreciatively.

"That is has my Lord," Bellatrix replied smiling at Voldemort.

Immediately, Voldemort cringed at the sight of Bellatrix's teeth and out of character shouted,

"BLOODY CHRIST, BELLA!! Haven't you heard of toothpaste?!"

**VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL-VL**

)-: Waiting for my Deathly Hallows copy :-(

Remember, I don't review if you don't like. I don't give a damn if you don't like it.

But if you do, you know the drill.


	36. Pointless Event 36

This will just be a series of pointless events.  
This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!  
THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG**

**Hogwarts Ground**

(Harry is about to go to the library to look for some books on Quiddith while Hermione fantasizes about him)

"Well Ron, I'm gonna go check it the book out and then I'll meet back up with you later," Harry told Ron while cleaning off his pants and retrieving his books.

"Hermione...,"Harry's voice drowned out of Hermione's head because she was imagining Harry in a knights armor on a white horse, coming down and sweeping her off her feet.  
His voice was overly baritone, like Barry White's and his hair was even more wind swept because of the horse back riding.

"_Oh Hermione! I have travelled _**long**_ and _**deep**_ just to reunite with you. It is my greatest_ **desire**_ and _**pleasure**_ to fulfill _**all **_of_** your needs**." Fantasy Harry raised his eyebrows suggestively for every accented word.

"**Hermione. Hermione. Hermione. Hermione.** HERMIONE!!!" Harry finally yelled to get Hermione out of her stupor.

"Huh, what?" Hermione said stupidly.

"I asked you if you'd like to come," Harry said a bit frustratedly

"Oh god _yes_!!" Hermione responded quite sultry not realizing that the line between fantasy and real life have been defined.

Realizing what has happend, Hermione looked at Harry and Ron's slightly reddened faces and blushed herself and ran away.

"Well...that response was unexpected." Harry stated while watching Hermione tear through a pack of first years.

**HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG-HG**

)-: Waiting for my Deathly Hallows copy :-(

Remember, I don't review if you don't like. I don't give a damn if you don't like it. But if you do, you know the drill.


	37. Pointless Event 37

This will just be a series of pointless events.  
This is **PRE-HBP**. Short. Short stories if you will.

**I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTER! ALL J.K.ROWLINGS!  
THE PLOT IS MINE THOUGH!**

**GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT**

**Gryffindor Tower**

(The eve of Graduation for Harry and the gang. Some partied harder than others)

After sneaking in a crate of Firewhiskey to the Gryffindor common room, all of the graduating class were all more than excited and tipsy to sleep. So on a successful whim, Harry suggested Quidditch.

Out went the future graduates, in stayed the firewiskey...and Hedwig.

"_I'm a good bird. I do as Harry says. I fly a good speed and can peck the shit out of people than other owls my age and otherwise. And in six years I've never had any fun. Time to start now!_"Thought Hedwig as she flew over to Harry's cup filled with firewiskey.

With the first taste, Hedwig almost croaked on the spot. But then as though it was ambrosia, Hedwig drank more.

"_THIS IS AWESOME!!! I NEED MORE!!"_ Thought Hedwig as she drank the rest of Harry's drink.

Soon after, Hedwig finished most, if not, all of the cups that were filled with anything and the bottles that she could somehow drink out of.

Hedwig felt the room spinning as though she was caught in a wind vortex, so she decided to try to fly to the couch.  
But since Hedwig was beyond blasted, only one wing responded and thus leaving her to fall on the floor. Soon after, Hedwig blacked out from her self partying.

"Harry tha was a wiccked catch," stated a still inebriated Ron hanging off of a previously drunk Hermione.

"Thank you! Thank you! I lo' you!" Stated Harry in an imitation Michael Jackson voice.

Everyone started filing in and noticed that they're firewhiskey disappeared.

"Hey! Where's me bloody whiskey?" Shouted an angry Seamus Finnigan.

And soon everyone started to complain until Hermione silenced them.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!"

And in an instant, everyone shut up.

Clearing her throat, Hermione continued, "I don't know what happend to it. But it's possible a McGonagall found it and didn't say anything. Though I'd doubt it. But in any case, let's try to rule out what we've got. All of us went out to the pitch, right."

A scattered mumur went about of affirmations.

"Okay, and all of the 6th years and below where sanctioned off from entering this area," Hermione paused to see that those whose inebriated states were wearing off slowly understood.

"And we told Dobby to come and warn us if any staff member was heading in this direction," Hermione paused briefly to think of her next sentence.

"So that would mean that whomever did finish off our whiskey should still be in the room!" Hermione stated excitedly as though she solved her first quantum physics equation.

"You know uh, Hermione. You seem pretty sober for someone who drank more that Seamus and Ron combined...," stated a slightly confused Harry.

Blushing lightly, "Well you see... back at home me and my friends get really, really bored. One thing leads to jelly shots another leads to body shots which leads to a massive orgy- and for 4 years in a row that's all we do so...I'm was barely tipsy." Hermione ended this tid-bit about her life only to continue loudly with her point.

"AS I WAS SAYING, the culprit is still here! Search the room!"

Soon after the 15+ drunken teenagers looked around haphazardly, they found the culprit.

"Hedwig?!" Harry stated in shock.

Harry was about to pick her up when abruptly Hedwig rolled over and threw up her stomach contents on to the floor and began breathing heavily for a moment before passing out again.

"...Sick." Stated some random kid in the back.

"Harry, I'm _so_ sorry...," Started Ron as he stared at Hedwig on the floor passed out.

Then continuing with, "...But we're gonna have to kill your bird."

**GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT-GT**

)-: Waiting for my Deathly Hallows copy :-(

Remember, I don't review if you don't like. I don't give a damn if you don't like it. But if you do, you know the drill.


End file.
